Merry Xmas!!!
I read and come across an article questioning and telling the absolutely truth in life are the things that we can't see! It's sort of mind-boggling, but true to the core!
There are nothing as real as hope, love, friendship.. all of those that are intangible that also often missed by our own shortsightedness.
Coming to the end of the 2008, it is yet another eventful year, though not all good, but there are also highlights to linger on. There are also certainly many events that could turn me bitter and cold, but once my grievances are spoken and shared with a dear friend early of the month, that even though the apology never come, i have decided it is so much easier to just forgive and possibly forget about it too.
Eileen is back! Right at the moment when i needed a friend that i can talk heart to heart. What we shared is of course no longer the bf/gf relationship, but definitely more than friendship. I could not put my thoughts into words the other day with her, but now i know what i wanted to say.
We have know each other since secondary three, in her words four years ago, our love story is almost as tragic as "Romeo and Juliet".. She has since settled down well in London for the last 4 years. This time when she's back, from all the little talks we have, i know she has indeed found her own life, her own world, it might be unfortunate that our destinies diverge, but i am still truly happy for her, and i know she feels the same way towards me as well too. we just have the best wishes for each other, and that's precious! That is most real!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Life
I remembered one particular night, when i was a boy, probably 5, sitting alone outside my house, looking up the sky that is full of stars and wondered what's is ahead for my life. That moment i believe is the beginning of my life.
I have grown and learnt that life is short, colourful and challenging yet also beautiful. I know everyone of us has a story to tell, after all, every step that we take, do leave a foot print behind.
This morning i was informed that a friend had just passed away because of CA! I wasn;t sure if i was encouraging myself or comforting my friends when i said i am ok, and that i am not affected. I thought i wasnt!
come to think of it, i was caught in a shock, i did not know how to respond to it. I kept telling myself to think positive, not be affected, there are things that are beyond my understanding!
but how could i?
Through out my way to office, i was so burdened with different kind of emotions, i was urgently thinking of someone to call... in the end i did not. It was possibly the loneliest 45 minutes.
I thought i still have two person i can relate to... but one is still not back, another one is so happens to be away at taiwan for holiday! Sigh...
It was supposed to be a good start for the week, and when i found that my lap top charger was taken way from my table, i lost my cool for probably the first time in my 3 years at hsbc. Taking it out on the secretaries was never the intention, and when i went over to apologized, i finally blurred out about what happened to my friend, my tears just could not hold it back anymore.
I needed a pat on the back! tell me that this will be over too! Tx said that i am different, and i should not be reminded of the bad, but rather think of the positive. She was right, i was very affected.
I spent the afternoon lamenting about life, went for a massage to try so sleep the burden off but to no avail.
Thankfully, a good friend came along in the evening, and a 30mins alone sitting at the open area at raffles mrt smooth out the emotional day.
I think life is so frail, and it is so real. I have to excuse myself from his wake the next two days, but my prayers and thoughts are with his family now. Truth is there are no ways to explain why certain things like this happened, and i won't pretend i know or understand, and not discouraged... But it does not contradict the fact that my God is still a good God, and that He always has everything under control.
Life is short, temporal and frail, i am not sure if i am doing all the rights things all the time, but i will try! i want to live life without regrets, and everyone should also. Let's love and be loved. Moments like this also makes me take stock of my own life. I am thankful for all that i have, my family, good friends and most importantly my health.
Life is beautiful, and should be beautiful!
I have grown and learnt that life is short, colourful and challenging yet also beautiful. I know everyone of us has a story to tell, after all, every step that we take, do leave a foot print behind.
This morning i was informed that a friend had just passed away because of CA! I wasn;t sure if i was encouraging myself or comforting my friends when i said i am ok, and that i am not affected. I thought i wasnt!
come to think of it, i was caught in a shock, i did not know how to respond to it. I kept telling myself to think positive, not be affected, there are things that are beyond my understanding!
but how could i?
Through out my way to office, i was so burdened with different kind of emotions, i was urgently thinking of someone to call... in the end i did not. It was possibly the loneliest 45 minutes.
I thought i still have two person i can relate to... but one is still not back, another one is so happens to be away at taiwan for holiday! Sigh...
It was supposed to be a good start for the week, and when i found that my lap top charger was taken way from my table, i lost my cool for probably the first time in my 3 years at hsbc. Taking it out on the secretaries was never the intention, and when i went over to apologized, i finally blurred out about what happened to my friend, my tears just could not hold it back anymore.
I needed a pat on the back! tell me that this will be over too! Tx said that i am different, and i should not be reminded of the bad, but rather think of the positive. She was right, i was very affected.
I spent the afternoon lamenting about life, went for a massage to try so sleep the burden off but to no avail.
Thankfully, a good friend came along in the evening, and a 30mins alone sitting at the open area at raffles mrt smooth out the emotional day.
I think life is so frail, and it is so real. I have to excuse myself from his wake the next two days, but my prayers and thoughts are with his family now. Truth is there are no ways to explain why certain things like this happened, and i won't pretend i know or understand, and not discouraged... But it does not contradict the fact that my God is still a good God, and that He always has everything under control.
Life is short, temporal and frail, i am not sure if i am doing all the rights things all the time, but i will try! i want to live life without regrets, and everyone should also. Let's love and be loved. Moments like this also makes me take stock of my own life. I am thankful for all that i have, my family, good friends and most importantly my health.
Life is beautiful, and should be beautiful!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
'My' Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_INGUq-gQI4
Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
When you're Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there A
nd everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
When you're Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there A
nd everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Julia's wedding
Julia, one of Charlie's angel got married tonight.
Looking back to the school days in Dunman, this fine lady has come a long way.. all of us do actually.
Julia, Dap and Tan have always been such close friends to me. It's been 10 plus years, and the friendship between us have also blossomed to almost 'kinship'. They are just like a family. they've seen through my ups and downs, most importantly, they are always around!
Charlie's girl is marrying tonight is the highlight of the day.
It was a lovely evening, and also brought out my sentimental side, i could not help but lament about my own love stories. Oh well... the right time and season will come.
At the dinner, i saw another friend of mine from DHS, she was down with CA almost the same time as i, but since then she had recovered, married and now pregnant with a baby girl of almost 8 months. Her experience had also got her closer to God, and i am very proud to say that this is another miracle blessed by God, even ah tut agreed.. but at the same time i also reminded him, that his dear friend, me, is another living example of miracle, sitting beside him on the table, and still playing football with him almost every week!
The few minutes of conversation was short yet warm, I am really happy for her, and also encouraged by her at the same time. We ended our conversation blessing each other, recognising God is indeed good, that miracles do exist!
He is good!
Looking back to the school days in Dunman, this fine lady has come a long way.. all of us do actually.
Julia, Dap and Tan have always been such close friends to me. It's been 10 plus years, and the friendship between us have also blossomed to almost 'kinship'. They are just like a family. they've seen through my ups and downs, most importantly, they are always around!
Charlie's girl is marrying tonight is the highlight of the day.
It was a lovely evening, and also brought out my sentimental side, i could not help but lament about my own love stories. Oh well... the right time and season will come.
At the dinner, i saw another friend of mine from DHS, she was down with CA almost the same time as i, but since then she had recovered, married and now pregnant with a baby girl of almost 8 months. Her experience had also got her closer to God, and i am very proud to say that this is another miracle blessed by God, even ah tut agreed.. but at the same time i also reminded him, that his dear friend, me, is another living example of miracle, sitting beside him on the table, and still playing football with him almost every week!
The few minutes of conversation was short yet warm, I am really happy for her, and also encouraged by her at the same time. We ended our conversation blessing each other, recognising God is indeed good, that miracles do exist!
He is good!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Time off
We all need time off, be it physically, mentally or even emotionally?
I wish i can stay at my peak of optimism 24/7, but i guess i am still human after all, it is ok to take a little time off, to lie still on the couch, watch some dvds, catch some good sleeps.
I am just back from a morning session of some form training, a quick glance of what used to be such a familiar face has become so foreign take a hit at my emotional well being. There are many things in life that's beyond my means and control, this has to be one of them.
So again, i push away a lunch appt, and could have go bowling with neo, but time alone is the best antidote for a sluggish morning.
So here i am, thinking that everyone of us will have a song that echoes our inner soul, and if we don't have one, we should write one. I am gonna write one, but someone has to correct my gramma lo. haha..
I wish i can stay at my peak of optimism 24/7, but i guess i am still human after all, it is ok to take a little time off, to lie still on the couch, watch some dvds, catch some good sleeps.
I am just back from a morning session of some form training, a quick glance of what used to be such a familiar face has become so foreign take a hit at my emotional well being. There are many things in life that's beyond my means and control, this has to be one of them.
So again, i push away a lunch appt, and could have go bowling with neo, but time alone is the best antidote for a sluggish morning.
So here i am, thinking that everyone of us will have a song that echoes our inner soul, and if we don't have one, we should write one. I am gonna write one, but someone has to correct my gramma lo. haha..
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Disturbing news..
It has been quite a day.. woke up at 7am, needed to like two hours to decide on what to wear for a more formal meeting in the morning, had good lunch and managed to get a good message after that at a spa in orchard. And then meeting with boss in the evening, dinner at office area, and many phone calls to update my clients till like 9pm... when was the last time i had a day that's so filled up like that???
And it does not end there, My two pals were supposed to meet me at bedok at 10pm for some important meetings, but in the end, they were both late, by the time they reached, it's almost 11pm..
So something not so pleasant happened, while waiting for them i called an old friend for a drink at the bedok block 85.
I remembered when i know her, she was stilll an innocent school girl.. we are friend for almost like 12 years? nah nothing happended to our friendship, but she was sharing a bit of her life now. I appreciate very much her honest and straight forwardness in revealing that she's seeing two guys at the same time!!!
OK>> I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I HEARD REALLY...
And she knew i would be shocked...
The thing is, she and the bf had been together for almost like 5 years, and she's now seeing another guy for the last one month... and she's also aware that the 'new friend' has another relationship ongoing..
What's going on here?
I have to give credit to her honest confession, though after what i said to her, she said she should not have told me!..
Sigh... it is really disturbing!!
I know, what i heard might be getting a bit common nowadays, but still!!!!????!!!
She admitted that they are just in for the thrill.. and if it turn out to be something real, it's good news, if not, it's OK too?!?, and if they are caught by their partners, then it's just too bad...
And i asked if she's not serious about the current boyfriend, then why not end it instead to lead a life that's so full of deceits and lies, but she admitted that she's selfish, because until she's sure of the new relationship, she'll not let go of her current bf!
Speechless...
Well, i think it is easy for people to criticise such selfishness and immoral behaviours, but other people's experience and stories should serve more for our own self reflection and not made the same mistakes.
Her candid and matter of fact way of putting it really took me by surprise and I am not sure i did manage to talk any sense to her, so at end of the the very short catch up, i just urged her to take care of herself and not do anything that she'll regret later..
It's really disappointing to hear things like that, such stories i am hearing it a little more often than i like, yet i still believe these group of people are still the minority. One very pathetic commonalities among them it;s that they are so very often complaining about no true love, and love doesn't last, why this.. why that.. etc etc.. they just don't get it! how to find true love, when our self are not true? how to last when we are coveting over every new temptations given any new opportunities? Why this why that, why never ask about our own flaws and mistakes?
Everything should always start from our self! Right?!
I wish my friend well, and hope that someday she'll come to her senses, and hopefully it'll not be too late.
And it does not end there, My two pals were supposed to meet me at bedok at 10pm for some important meetings, but in the end, they were both late, by the time they reached, it's almost 11pm..
So something not so pleasant happened, while waiting for them i called an old friend for a drink at the bedok block 85.
I remembered when i know her, she was stilll an innocent school girl.. we are friend for almost like 12 years? nah nothing happended to our friendship, but she was sharing a bit of her life now. I appreciate very much her honest and straight forwardness in revealing that she's seeing two guys at the same time!!!
OK>> I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I HEARD REALLY...
And she knew i would be shocked...
The thing is, she and the bf had been together for almost like 5 years, and she's now seeing another guy for the last one month... and she's also aware that the 'new friend' has another relationship ongoing..
What's going on here?
I have to give credit to her honest confession, though after what i said to her, she said she should not have told me!..
Sigh... it is really disturbing!!
I know, what i heard might be getting a bit common nowadays, but still!!!!????!!!
She admitted that they are just in for the thrill.. and if it turn out to be something real, it's good news, if not, it's OK too?!?, and if they are caught by their partners, then it's just too bad...
And i asked if she's not serious about the current boyfriend, then why not end it instead to lead a life that's so full of deceits and lies, but she admitted that she's selfish, because until she's sure of the new relationship, she'll not let go of her current bf!
Speechless...
Well, i think it is easy for people to criticise such selfishness and immoral behaviours, but other people's experience and stories should serve more for our own self reflection and not made the same mistakes.
Her candid and matter of fact way of putting it really took me by surprise and I am not sure i did manage to talk any sense to her, so at end of the the very short catch up, i just urged her to take care of herself and not do anything that she'll regret later..
It's really disappointing to hear things like that, such stories i am hearing it a little more often than i like, yet i still believe these group of people are still the minority. One very pathetic commonalities among them it;s that they are so very often complaining about no true love, and love doesn't last, why this.. why that.. etc etc.. they just don't get it! how to find true love, when our self are not true? how to last when we are coveting over every new temptations given any new opportunities? Why this why that, why never ask about our own flaws and mistakes?
Everything should always start from our self! Right?!
I wish my friend well, and hope that someday she'll come to her senses, and hopefully it'll not be too late.
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