TS-1

Life is like a drama, and people come and go in our life! Death is indeed an eventual path for everyone. And the journey meanwhile is indeed precious however long or short one might think, it is still not enough time to accomplish all the things i want to do.
Two more months, and then i will be 30! IT IS 30!!!!! HAA.. incredible!!!

Lately i have been kind of addicted to THE SEVENTH DAY tvb drama! The show is about relationships on two different couples, it is a really sweet drama, and makes the audience like me to believe in fairy tale loves all over again. Not that i don't believe in one, but it certainly refreshes my spirit. In the drama, one of the female lead was found to have contracted a form of cancer, and how the bf stood by her was really really touching, i even found my eyes getting wet over it. Maybe, it reminded me of my own predicament, what happened on the screen is indeed quite a contrast to where i am today. Nope, not gonna dwell on this, but life is in deed like a drama, people come and go, and those who are always around, man, how lucky i am, for they are my constant consolation over the those that left. well in life, we win some, and we lose some right!

Coping with cancer is not easy, but i guess i have been doing ok! being ill nonetheless makes me different! i cannot be in activities like everyone else. I have limited energy for everyday day, and most of it i will have to channel it to work, i have to do it this way, i need to have something to look forward to, i have to keep the 'work done' to remind myself i am still relevant, that i can still do better than lots of people.
I have drastically reduced my leisure hours, sometimes almost non-existing. My work typically starts from the late afternoon and ends around 9pm. Turning down to join friends for drinks or chill outs is often done with much reluctance but not without frustrations. I don't really have many really close friends, if i were to really count! And those who are truly understanding and truly concerns of me are even lesser, but but they are already more than enough, in fact i think i am luckier than lots of people out there!
It is unfortunate that i have to lose a few friends in the midst of rehabilitation, i am disappointed no doubt, more so that i really detest it when i have to explain too many times why i cant be there, that i needed rest!! i would think it is pretty dummy proof.

So WHAT IS TS-1??
Time flies, i have been on Xeloda, the chemo pill, for almost 9 months! unfortunately, it comes with side effects, before this month, things are still not so bad, but lately the HFS ( hand foot syndrome) has become too apparent! my skins on my hands and feet have become dry and tight, and even painful! To the extend that my toe nails are threatening to fall off!
And this has to happen when my CEA level is not too stable, today;s medical appointment with Doctor Simon again brought no relieves, CEA is up a point not own!!! He recommended a new drug call TS-1 to replace the Xeloda, it is supposed to be better, but more damaging to the immune system. Being new, it also means it is not a widely approved drug to be used in Singapore although it's already very widely used in Japan. I can only begin this new drug in a week, i have a good hunch, this new drug will work well for me!!!

tomorrow is weekend again!!! time pass too fast!!! can i slow the time?

interstig post from a friend note!

A note from a father to the son's teacher!


He will have to learn, I know,
that not all men are just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish politician,
there is a dedicated leader...
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend.

Steer him away from envy,
if you can,
teach him the secret of laughter.

Let him learn early that
the bullies are the easiest to lick..
Teach him,
if you can,
the wonder of books...
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat...
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong...
Teach him to be gentle
with the gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son
the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the bandwagon..
Teach him to listen to all men
but teach him also to filter
alll he hears on a screen of truth,
and take only the good
that comes through.

Teach him if you can,
how to laugh when he is sad...
Teach him there is no shame in tears,
Teach him to scoff at cynics
and to beware of too much sweetness...
Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he's right.
Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him,
because only the test
of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage
to be impatient...
Let him have the patience to be brave.
Teach him always
to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will have
sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do...
He is such a fine fellow,
my son!