I have been caught with a complex mixed of feelings for a long time.
I find it hard to comprehend, something that is beyond words.
There are days that i feel really good especially those days when i am at the pool, but there are also those days i felt really lost, and perhaps lousy about myself. Maybe it is an old Gemini characteristic, i am really not sure, but it is definitely not a good spell.
Maybe it is the circumstances that are weighing on me, the reality that i need to accept the limits and restrictions that are placed over my life. Being a free minded all my life, this is a bitter pill that's hard to swallow, not so mention to live with it. Honestly i hate this! Maybe the tone is stronger than how i am actually felt, but if i can help it, i would want to fast forward this trial.
Reality being reality, somethings are indeed beyond me, being level headed and rational also meant that i am in lack of loosing myself a little sometimes. It is like i am unhappy, yet i know i should not be unhappy, and i can mechanically alter my mood by doing something to get myself to the chirpy side almost too fast! It is weird and complicated, having such ability is a plus of course, but something is missing..
Maybe i don;t want to cheer myself up all the time, maybe understanding myself is not good enough, i need someone to understand me? Is this an exhibition act that indirectly depicts how my inner being is really doing ?
I have great friends, i can make them laugh, and they always make my days, but it is just not enough... hmm.. not on a day that i am alone sitting here writing my frustrations.
I am complicated today.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
interesting post to know a little of myself
FOOD-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Sushi tei dressing
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Sushi Tei.. or any other restaurant
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
sweet potato!
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
tomatoes?
What do you like to put on your toast?
din have this for a long time
TECHNOLOGY
How many television sets are in your house?
2. one in my room that's hardly watched
What color of cell phone do you have?
Brown
ps. I think this technology section is lame.
BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
too much actually. i have one more to remove! the tumor
What is the last heavy item you lifted?
eileen?( ha... don;t kill me! but i had only two gf u see, the other one is really small).
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
yes, by a basket ball when i was like 6? i fainted for a whole day.
BULLCRAPOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No thanks.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I have many name. i like all of them. lianshu or Rome are my favorite :p
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
NO. Because I might die first. I can't tolerate spicy food.
DUMBOLOGY
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
2!
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never.
Last person you talked to?
my mum. she is my guardian angel
Last person you hugged?
brian, my nephew.
FAVORITOLOGY
Season?
summer.
Holiday?
only if with friends or love ones
Day of the week?
Sun! i get to go church!
Month?
December! Because it's my holiday month. don;t have to work
CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone?
all the time
Mood?
Tired, but unable to sleep.
What are you listening to?
Josh groban's DVD
Watching?
Josh Groban's DVD
Worrying about?
i shouldn't!
RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning?
meet a client
What's the last movie you saw?
In the theatre: Love matters! disappointing show really
Do you smile often?
Like a madman.
QUESTIONS
1)Do you always answer your phone?
All the time
2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
is there such person? Probably got killed by me by now
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
amber? I like what i have now actually
4)What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Simi Sonic? I only drink water!
5) Do you own a digital camera?
Yes and I always forget to bring it out.
6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Nope
7) Favorite Christmas song?
Cannot remember the title
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Hmm... cancer is gone, CEA dropped to zero.
9) Can you do push ups?
100?
10) Can you do a chin up?
15.
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12) Do you have any saved texts?
Yes important schedules from clients?
13) Ever been in a car wreck?
yup.
14) Do you have an accent?
Nah.. i don;t think so.
15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Amazing Grace
16) Plans tonight?
SLEEP, EVENTUALLY.
17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yup.. 5 years ago when i knew i had cancer, and then two years ago when CA came back.
18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
supplements! and more supplements
19) Have you ever been given roses?
By Nerissa, she can be so sweet.
20) Current worry?
i shouldn't!
21) Current hate right now?
No hates! i am filled with grace and love.
22) Met someone who changed your life?
Yep ;) God counts right?
23) How did you bring in the New Year!
at home with friends
24) What song represents you?
can't think of any
25) Name three people who might complete this?
Aiyah, if u are reading this and really really bored, you should. just copy and paste and fill in your own answers
26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night
Home. getting ready to sleep
27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
How many hours i manage to sleep through out
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Sushi tei dressing
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Sushi Tei.. or any other restaurant
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
sweet potato!
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
tomatoes?
What do you like to put on your toast?
din have this for a long time
TECHNOLOGY
How many television sets are in your house?
2. one in my room that's hardly watched
What color of cell phone do you have?
Brown
ps. I think this technology section is lame.
BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
too much actually. i have one more to remove! the tumor
What is the last heavy item you lifted?
eileen?( ha... don;t kill me! but i had only two gf u see, the other one is really small).
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
yes, by a basket ball when i was like 6? i fainted for a whole day.
BULLCRAPOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No thanks.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I have many name. i like all of them. lianshu or Rome are my favorite :p
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
NO. Because I might die first. I can't tolerate spicy food.
DUMBOLOGY
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
2!
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never.
Last person you talked to?
my mum. she is my guardian angel
Last person you hugged?
brian, my nephew.
FAVORITOLOGY
Season?
summer.
Holiday?
only if with friends or love ones
Day of the week?
Sun! i get to go church!
Month?
December! Because it's my holiday month. don;t have to work
CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone?
all the time
Mood?
Tired, but unable to sleep.
What are you listening to?
Josh groban's DVD
Watching?
Josh Groban's DVD
Worrying about?
i shouldn't!
RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning?
meet a client
What's the last movie you saw?
In the theatre: Love matters! disappointing show really
Do you smile often?
Like a madman.
QUESTIONS
1)Do you always answer your phone?
All the time
2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
is there such person? Probably got killed by me by now
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
amber? I like what i have now actually
4)What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Simi Sonic? I only drink water!
5) Do you own a digital camera?
Yes and I always forget to bring it out.
6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Nope
7) Favorite Christmas song?
Cannot remember the title
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Hmm... cancer is gone, CEA dropped to zero.
9) Can you do push ups?
100?
10) Can you do a chin up?
15.
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12) Do you have any saved texts?
Yes important schedules from clients?
13) Ever been in a car wreck?
yup.
14) Do you have an accent?
Nah.. i don;t think so.
15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Amazing Grace
16) Plans tonight?
SLEEP, EVENTUALLY.
17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yup.. 5 years ago when i knew i had cancer, and then two years ago when CA came back.
18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
supplements! and more supplements
19) Have you ever been given roses?
By Nerissa, she can be so sweet.
20) Current worry?
i shouldn't!
21) Current hate right now?
No hates! i am filled with grace and love.
22) Met someone who changed your life?
Yep ;) God counts right?
23) How did you bring in the New Year!
at home with friends
24) What song represents you?
can't think of any
25) Name three people who might complete this?
Aiyah, if u are reading this and really really bored, you should. just copy and paste and fill in your own answers
26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night
Home. getting ready to sleep
27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
How many hours i manage to sleep through out
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