TS-1

Life is like a drama, and people come and go in our life! Death is indeed an eventual path for everyone. And the journey meanwhile is indeed precious however long or short one might think, it is still not enough time to accomplish all the things i want to do.
Two more months, and then i will be 30! IT IS 30!!!!! HAA.. incredible!!!

Lately i have been kind of addicted to THE SEVENTH DAY tvb drama! The show is about relationships on two different couples, it is a really sweet drama, and makes the audience like me to believe in fairy tale loves all over again. Not that i don't believe in one, but it certainly refreshes my spirit. In the drama, one of the female lead was found to have contracted a form of cancer, and how the bf stood by her was really really touching, i even found my eyes getting wet over it. Maybe, it reminded me of my own predicament, what happened on the screen is indeed quite a contrast to where i am today. Nope, not gonna dwell on this, but life is in deed like a drama, people come and go, and those who are always around, man, how lucky i am, for they are my constant consolation over the those that left. well in life, we win some, and we lose some right!

Coping with cancer is not easy, but i guess i have been doing ok! being ill nonetheless makes me different! i cannot be in activities like everyone else. I have limited energy for everyday day, and most of it i will have to channel it to work, i have to do it this way, i need to have something to look forward to, i have to keep the 'work done' to remind myself i am still relevant, that i can still do better than lots of people.
I have drastically reduced my leisure hours, sometimes almost non-existing. My work typically starts from the late afternoon and ends around 9pm. Turning down to join friends for drinks or chill outs is often done with much reluctance but not without frustrations. I don't really have many really close friends, if i were to really count! And those who are truly understanding and truly concerns of me are even lesser, but but they are already more than enough, in fact i think i am luckier than lots of people out there!
It is unfortunate that i have to lose a few friends in the midst of rehabilitation, i am disappointed no doubt, more so that i really detest it when i have to explain too many times why i cant be there, that i needed rest!! i would think it is pretty dummy proof.

So WHAT IS TS-1??
Time flies, i have been on Xeloda, the chemo pill, for almost 9 months! unfortunately, it comes with side effects, before this month, things are still not so bad, but lately the HFS ( hand foot syndrome) has become too apparent! my skins on my hands and feet have become dry and tight, and even painful! To the extend that my toe nails are threatening to fall off!
And this has to happen when my CEA level is not too stable, today;s medical appointment with Doctor Simon again brought no relieves, CEA is up a point not own!!! He recommended a new drug call TS-1 to replace the Xeloda, it is supposed to be better, but more damaging to the immune system. Being new, it also means it is not a widely approved drug to be used in Singapore although it's already very widely used in Japan. I can only begin this new drug in a week, i have a good hunch, this new drug will work well for me!!!

tomorrow is weekend again!!! time pass too fast!!! can i slow the time?