Mental breaks

I have many ways to do self therapy, to swing myself back to the mood of happiness. It works me well, until recent months. I have the strong urge to have something different; to be less constraint, to loosen up of sorts.

Well, and i did, i bought a new car, a convertible, to fulfill one of those things that i always want. I have been always careful, cautious to be exact even though i appear otherwise, and contrary to what many of my friends thought, i happened to be really down to earth. Buying the car took me very long to make the call, finances and practicalities, in the end, on the irony, it is the uncertainties ahead that push me to "Just Do It". ( I am never quite a car person, well, a convertible is every boy's ideal ride isn't it?)

And i have another break from my routine self, i almost stopped work for a while now, attending only those important appointments and meetings. It was a little uncomfortable for a while, having a unproductive week usually would have put me in red alert, not to mention one whole month? The fear of losing the 'mojo' at work still pinch me quite a bit, i can never go to the office without looking at the production board. sigh... hahah.. at times like this i find myself really really really complicatedly and beautifully made.

I am not sure when i can be back to myself again, but with the operation on 3rd Aug coming, including the recuperation period, i guess this break is gonna take another month. To be honest, idling is not necessarily a bad thing for me, considering the fact that i am actually fighting to stay alive now, a total break from my routine should be healthy. In a ideal world, of course it is!!! Problem is i am living in an imperfect one. :(@#%#%@#%&#$^$@!#@%

I have certain peace in my current change of routine, somehow i am also searching for a greater purpose and calling, i thought there must be also another way to leave my foot prints.

Repeating swimming, gym, yoga this week again, i have to be in the best shape for my op, and the rest can wait i guess.