The real battle starts from now ..

I have wanted to blog this since last fri after seeing my doctor. I was caught in a mixed feeling about what i am in now.

Hmm.. it is actually good news, my doctors, sisters nerissa and i, we were all relieved to know that the CEA has dropped by 5 points from 17... it was all smiles from Doctor Simon when he told me the news. I was shouting halleluyah within.. and at the corner of my eyes, i saw tears were welling up in my sisters eyes... they should know better. from the beginning of the year untill now, they've witness how i struggled to find the right mixed of treatments... from the impossibles to the first sign of improvement, and bwtween these two years, on top of being my pillar of supports, they have also raised up 3 babies. I think i have been really lucky, i have probably the most classic family ties in act.

The moment of joy only lasted a few seconds, the months ahead are still a tough battle, and it weighs on my shoulder heavily for the past few days. i didn't want to talk about this actually. I guess after such a long haul, it is only normal i am feling tired and 'weak' within, especially knowing that this will take quite a bit of time to get 'it' totally out of my system.
I don't really have a word to describe all the mixed feelings; but i know this is only temporary. I NEED to keep doing the right things, stay on this regime, and stay out of the distractions.

Like what i have said so many times, too much is at stake! I have come so far, i will keep going! i am going to win this!