sleepless night

Yesterday was actually a good day of rest, had a good workout although it took me like alost 1 hour to find a parking lot.
The morning's live web cast on service had a strong impact on me; i was reminded of how far i have come to since last year. Be it work, relationship or health, nothing was exactly going my way. I am forced to eat my humble pie, to realise my own limitation, and to let go and let God, all in all, from jan 07 to almost coming to an end of 08, this whole journey looked really tough yet transforming, maybe, just maybe, years down the road i might look back and see this as a transition period that tototally change my life for good.
Then night time, i was looking thru the photos that i took at various places from tokyo to niagra fall and santorini. From all the pictures, i can only see happy faces and loving friends, it somehow overshadows all the troubles that i have. so i am thinking i am actually having a good yearthan lots of people out there, ironic maybe, but it definitely appears so.. to me as well of cos.
Finally the night ended with a telephone conversation that probably led to a sleepless night; I felt let down, and disappointment set in naturally. It would be millions times better if i am just told another conversation is in place... well i did not want to spoil the fun, n happily ignore it.
Truth never hurt, why???? i guess its old habit dies hard ba. So i twist and turn, the different kind of emotions had me sleepless till like 4am.. man it was torturing.. it is just me.. i feel stupid and silly.
Thankfully i have managed to push my appt today to a later time, and i have 5 days to prepare for a miracle, it is going to be really really important, i cannot be distracted.