Trapped

Life is never smooth sailing... i mean who doesn't know it?

Went back to office today, the air in there was stale and can possibly suck away all my energy? or it is probably just because i am feeling down?
My temporary secretarial helper informed that once again she was asked to stopped from doing any of my work... My immediate response was disbelief, and that immediately turned into an embarrassment, and naturally followed with disappointment that i was not even informed first instead..
By right, i should be also taking revision for a financial paper now, but the notes were taken away from the owner yesterday, so even though i was confident enough to have it passed on the first time, but without the notes, i guess turning up for the exam tomorrow morning will be in vain.
By default, both the notes and the temp help were both not mine in the first place, it is only right when it was taken away. But i am still in total disbeliefs and in total disappointment...
Out of nothing, a simplest unhappiness can just throw away everything, never mind of the the consequences??? in Spiderman, we know that with greater power comes greater responsibilty; but in this scenarios, is it wise to place any importants into his hands???
The struggles between the head and heart is driving me to severe headaches again...

I remembered in the mist of my disappointments yesterday, i was still trying to make sure the plans which are not my business went on smoothly; it was out of love, and out of obligation. After the final piece falls into the jigsaw puzzle, it will be time to take a long leave to focus on my recovery, i must! and should!!!
It will not be fair to say that no one cares, my family and closed friends and angels are always here for me, but i need to put aside the distractions that are making me unwell and unhappy, i need to be responsible to God, my family and definitely myself.

well, tomrrow will be a better day. gotta rest and see my TCM professor in the morning to come.